Hedbergerian Conundra
Mel Brooks was onto something very deep when he made light of my two of my three favorite professions in History of the World Part I, when he played a “stand-up philosopher.” Really, any stand-up comedy will necessarily intersect with some field of philosophy (except Dane Cook, who is largely confined to “prancing”). The George Carlin and Louis C.K. types get into ethics and political philosophy, while Jerry Seinfeld and observational schools of comedy dabble with epistemology and the like. Mitch Hedberg, followed/imitated by Demetri Martin, has led a new wave of comedy into metaphysics, if you stop to think about it. Sure, you could argue that most wordplay has some level of metaphysics to it, but man, Mitch was deep. So, in Mitch’s memory, I offer you a clip with a few jokes I had never heard before, and a little tribute to some of his greatest musings found in the real world.
These people are against picketing, and they do know how to show it:
"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it."
A sign Mitch said I’d never see (photo by yours truly):
"Escalator temporarily stairs. We apologize for the fact that you can still get up there."
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
These challenges require many loaves of bread and several other people.
As a little bonus for reading this far, here’s one I hadn’t heard until recently, and suspect that I know the reason why: “I’m a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someones life.”
Too soon?
The New Print 
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up.