Occupy North Pole!

I am no expert in Christianity, but I thought I’d try to make some sense of this Occupy North Pole movement. The Occupiers are demanding that someone please explain why, despite all the Christian admonitions about rich men, heaven, camels, and the eye of a needle, etc., Santa systematically favors the 1%.

Maybe the answer is that Santa isn’t exactly part of the whole Christian “canon” (it’s more like he’s within the same universe as Jesus, but not quite part of the central storyline)? Maybe it’s that Santa would not spend as much time in the United States if he actually had to go to every single child’s house?

Regardless, the North Pole Occupiers seem to have a valid point: everyone contributes their milk and cookies, so why should Santa give such lavish gifts to the 1% instead of equally nice gifts to all of the girls and boys around the world? And why should the children of the 1% be immune to the Naughty-Or-Nice rule just because the 1%ers can afford to appeal the elvish administrative decisions? Too spoiled for coal is too spoiled!

Parents would do well to tell their children that Santa really cares about how they act and behave in society, not how much money Mommy and Daddy make. And those parents would do well to consider their own advice.