Now You’re Cooking With Grass

The most incoherent interview you’ll ever read just might not be Sarah Palin’s.  It might be Coolio’s extended interview with the Boston Globe on the subject of his new cookbook–yes, cookbook–entitled, Cookin’ With Coolio.  His self-described “Ghetto fusion” cuisine ranges from “Blasian” to “Ghettalian” and features dishes such as “Chicken Lettuce Blunts” and “Cold Shrimpin’.”

Q. I’m a little worried about the longevity of these recipes. Some call for a nickel bag or dime bag of, say, oregano. But a nickel bag today isn’t going to be a nickel bag in a few years. Does the cook have to adjust for inflation?

A. Nah, don’t worry about it. The price of salt went up some, but not much. You can still get a box of salt for a dollar something. Salt was more expensive back in the day. We used to use salt to trade. You could trade for [darn] gold, for silk, you could trade spices for women.

Q. You mention some rules of cooking in your book, which you call cool-mandments. Which do you think are most key for our readers?

A. Wash your Shaka-Zulu hands. That is the most important thing. After you touch chicken, you wash your [darn] hands.

It’s like every bad pun (re-)mixed into one.  I guess I should applaud his efforts as a fan of writing, cooking, fusion, hip hop, breaking artificial barriers based on inaccurate expectations, and so on.  Let’s hope that this additional chef doesn’t spoil the stew.